Escape the TightPanic A MiSa comedy
by CutePoison
Summary: Ch. 3 is up A sinking ship, a wacky Sara...A man with an escape plan
1. Chapter 1

Sara: "Oh, Michael do you feel it?"

Michael: "Feel what, Sara?"

Sara: "The all consuming panic of…well of never finding a moment for MiSa!"

Michael: "What's a MiSa…I thought maybe you meant the fact that the ship is sinking."

Sara: "Who cares if the ship is sinking, we'll never have a chance to make Tanfield babies…don't you feel the panic in that?"

Michael: "Sara, right now I'm trying to think of a plan to… to… well I hate to sound like a broken record, but a plan to make all of this right just seems to fit...Hey wait, why is it Tanfield babies? Why not...Scocredi babies?"

Sara: (She ignores him completely) "A plan is just what we need, Michael you're a genius!"

Michael: (He gives Sara a well, duh look) "I think if we were to find some kind of weapon we could force our way onto a boat, maybe." (Smiles that little smile all of us ladies love).

Sara: "A weapon…you mean like this?" (Pulls a gun from under her skirt)

Michael: "Have you had that under there all this time?" (At Sara's nod) "Oh, thank God! I just thought you were happy to see me when I hugged you!"

Sara: "You thought I was a man?"

Michael: "Sara, we don't have time for this, this ship was supposed to take us to Panama to meet Linc and LJ…"

Sara: "Linc, Linc, Linc! All you ever think about is your hot brother! Should I be worried about this Michael? Are you maybe a bit disappointed it was just a gun under my skirt?"

(Sirens fill the air as the boat lurches and water gushes under the door of their room keeping him from giving her more than a look of disbelief)

Michael: "Come on, let's go!" (Grabs gun)

Sara: "Goodbye fantasy cruise…sigh!"

(A short while later...)

Michael: "Hurry, Sara, I can't hold this position much longer…I think I'm going to!"

Sara: "Ouch, why did you drop me?"

Michael: "Because your heels were digging into my shoulders and I probably have little finger nail moons on my scalp."

Sara: "I was trying to see what was on the buffet table. I'm hungry!"

Michael: "That's why you had to stand on my shoulders, to see food?"

Sara: "Sea food…Hahahahaha!! You're funny when you're not busy trying to escape from something."

Michael: "And you're….ah…cute when you're hungry. Now if we could just find a way off of this sinking boat…"

Sara: "I thought you had a plan? (Reaches over and lifts his shirt and peers at his tattoo) "Is there anything useful on this thing about boat safety?"

Michael: (Pushes shirt down and grabs her hand) "Come on, let's look for a boat and get off of this ship!"

(They head out to the front of the ship and are making their way to a boat when T-bag grabs Sara and presses his fake hand tightly to her throat.)

T-Bag: "Don't make me use this…I will."

Michael: "A fake hand? What are you going to do with a fake hand?"

T-Bag: (He looks at fake hand) "Damn it! I dropped my knife again! Fine, pretty take her..."

Michael: "There's no time for that…we have to get off of this ship, it's sinking!" (He grabs Sara's hand and drags her along).

Sara: (Looks behind her at T-bag). "Come on, Little Buddy!" (At Michael's intense look) "What? I've always wanted to say that!"

(T-bag catches up and the three continued on their way to the life boat in hopes of escaping the TightPanic.)


	2. Chapter 2

T-bag: "There's the boat, now gimme that gun, Pretty… And then stand back I know how to handle this type a thing."

Sara: "So, you're going to take this on single handedly? (She looks at Michael) "Get it, 'single' handedly? He only has one hand!"

Michael: (He ignores Sara) "If you think I'm going to give you this gun you have massively underestimated me."

Sara: "Do you have any more lines? Is there a freakin' button on your back or something? Push once for the plan to make it all right, push twice to hear how massively underestimated you are, push three times to hear": (Sara throws back her head and starts moaning.) "Oh, Sara, oh you are so…ohhhh!"

Michael: (He gives Sara a look that's colder than the ocean and twice as blue.) "Is nothing sacred, woman!?"

T-Bag: "Why I wouldn't mind pushing your button 3 times myself, pretty. Where abouts is this button located…never mind the mystery will enhance the search all the more." (He reaches for Michael who pushes him away and aims the gun at him.)

Sara: "Come on LiL' Buddy we'll find you a nice coconut when we hit the sand." (She loops her arm through T-bag's and pulls ahead of Michael, turning around once to stick her tongue out at him.)

Michael: (He sighs deeply and tries to ignore Sara up ahead whispering about the Skipper being in a bad mood, 'cause they were interrupted before he could get his freak on.)

(They reach the boat and Sara and T-bag step aside as a gun wielding Michael approaches.)

Michael: "We need this boat. Step aside and nobody gets hurt."

(The people on the boat just look at him for a few seconds and then continue with their preparations to evacuate the sinking ship.)

Michael: "What the…?"

T-Bag: "Alackady, but you all look so pretty when you're scared". (He is hiding his fake hand from view.)

(They all stop to look at him.)

T-bag: "Do you folks wanna see somethin' really scary…I mean really, really scary?"

(They all continue to stare, but no one answers.)

(T-bag goes into a crazed frenzy, and starts flopping and frothing as he pretends to attack his own arm.)

(There are gasps and screams as he tears what they believe to be his real hand from his body)

Sara: (Starts clapping until Michael nudges her hard with his elbow.) "Owww!"

T-bag: (Howls triumphantly as he holds hand over his head…before rushing at the boatload of people who scatter away in fear.)

Michael: "I can't believe that worked."

(They climb into the boat and are about to let it drop into the water when they hear a familiar voice.)

Tweener: "Y'all gots anymore room on that fickey? This ships goin' down and I'm fittin' ta bounce, yo!"


	3. Chapter 3

(All eyes are on Tweener, especially T-bag's)

Michael: "Fine, you can come along, but no rapping!"

Sara: "He raps?" (Then to Tweener) "You rap?"

T-bag: (Strokes his goatee and grins) "I got somthin' you can wrap in-betweener…Come on over here."

Tweener: "Yo, you put your hand on me once an you'll be lookin' to glomm (Steal) another fake paw, biotch!"

T-bag: "I like em' feisty…hop on board sweet thang." (T-bag licks his bottom lip suggestively.)

Tweener: (Climbs in and sets next to Sara and starts looking her over) "Yo, shorty, you lookin' fine tonight. I could think of a good rap for a hot dime piece like you."

Sara: (Smiles shyly) "I'm actually pretty tall but, yeah I am pretty hot, aren't I?"

Michael: "If your done hitting on my 'shorty', could you shut up and….where are the oars?...Wait"! (He says, but it's too late as the boat falls into the water.) "Damn it!" 

Sara: "What's wrong now, Gandhi? Did we not plan everything out before hitting the sea?"

Michael: (He ignores her again and is about to say something to T-bag when they see a raft made of wood and rope sinking a short distance away).

Tweener: "Holy, shit! It's the dude with the…" he is interrupted as the dog on the sinking raft falls into the sea.)

Michael: (He squints across the choppy waters) "Haywire?"

Haywire: "Save Larry!"

Sara: "Here doggie…Do dogs swim?"

Tweener: "Hey yo, yeah, they do it doggie style…You wanna try sumthin' doggie style, baby?" (He smiles at her slyly.)

(Haywire dives into the sea and starts swimming towards the small life boat.)

Tweener: "Hey, yo is that fickey a shark's fin?" (He is pointing a few yards away from the frantically swimming Haywire.)

They all start screaming: "Swim!!!! Haywire…Swim…Shark!!!!!!!"

Haywire: (He looks over his shoulder and sees the shark's fin) "Save Larry!"

(Haywire and Larry are both within reach of their outstretched hands)

Michael: "Only one of them can come on board, if they both do we'll sink!"

Haywire: (Having heard this) "Save Larry!"

Sara: "How do you know we will sink if they both come on board?"

T-bag: "All this talk about cummin' on board is tickling my natural proclivities." 

Tweener: "Yo I say we save the pooch, aw-ight? 'Cause, yo, say we end up on an island? We could eat this fickey." (He motions towards the dog.)

Sara: (Grabs t-bag's hand and tosses it into the water just as the shark reaches its prey.) "Yay!" (She yells as the sharks grabs the hand and swims away.)

T-bag: "That was a perfectly good prosthetic… I hope you realize a man had to die in order for me to acquire it."

Sara: "Be the change, Lil' buddy."

T-bag: "What?"

(They pull Haywire in and his little dog swims along next to the life raft as the tightpanic sinks a safe distance behind them.) 


End file.
